There it goes (vent) 8/9/25

It happened a while ago but I've only really realized just now (like the pea brain i am. i love peas)
So, there's a guy I've known for 3 years now.
He's 19 now.
Fucking hell it happened for a while.
I'm not gonna go into detail about it, but he's STILL trying to contact me.
I don't like it, we're not friends, maybe we were once but was that real?

There was also another guy I knew who I found in the same place as him.
With him it was a little different though.
A little more aggressive in a way?
I dunno. Every day he told me that I had to love him or he'd off himself, and y'know, I cared about people.
Dumbass me kept lying about my age, so I had tons of 17-18 year olds trying to start something with me.
It was always so odd.
Maybe it was my fault, maybe it wasn't. Prolly a little bit of both. I'm pretty sure it fucked up my brain for a bit.
Maybe not for a bit, considering it's still in my head now.

Alright now here is where I scream into text because that's fun

Recently I've come to realize that I am a therian.
Now that I've really figured it out, it's made me very happy, and given me a sense of understanding (ngl it was VERY confusing at first, even more so when I actually found out what therians were, since there's so much misinfo on the internet)
I'm a pea brain and take like 5 years to fully understand something, so it may take a while to figure out what exactly my theriotype(s) is.
Anyways, some fires in my areas have calmed down a bit, which is good because I highly value the forest I live in.
I hold the trees and ground I stand on very close, as it makes me feel quite free of stress, sadly I don't get to actually go outside often.

BUT. I'm hoping I can get a chance to go hang out at a little park area in the forest sometime later today.
If I can go there I'll get to feel nice and comfy outdoors without the little shart gobblins of golfers being... Well, golfers (no offense to people who golf, just offense to the awesome amazing tourists and neighbors of mine that care oh so much)

I've also felt quite whole recently, calm and relaxed. I've been quite productive, too. Finally doing all those things I've been needing to do.

Anywayssss little rant finished, I feel awesome, and I love eating possoms (/j)

Spare me some time (venty) 8/3/25

So, I've been doing a lot of work online and irl, making cosplays, doing money shart (paperwork is super fun ngl), getting distracted at ANY point I go to do something online.. I mean, AS I WENT TO WRITE THIS, I got distracted for 30 minutes.

And, I've been meaning on animating more Fyke stuff recently. But uh-oh, YouTube reached its peak of trashiness so now I'm working on making my own PouTube page but I decided it's a good idea to design thumbnails for ALL OF THEM. And on the irl side, everything is so slow. I want to buy fur and foam for my fursuit, but whoops, I have to wait 3 MONTHS to even cash out my checks. And then whenever I have to do something important, BOOM, period. I love periods. My favorite thing of all time.
Then, I have self improvement that I'm working on with exercize and eating more, going outside. But most of that I can only do on my 10 hour free time. Which seems like a lot of time, it really does. But when it all adds up, it really doesn't give me much room between one thing and another.
Imma list some things I can only do on free time 'cause why not.
Watching my favorite show, exercize (excluding walks), talking to friends outside of sp, updating this neocities, bluesky and other things like that, making videos, certain animations, just about anything that I really enjoy.
And outside of that free time, I'm constantly watched. Even in my room there's people to listen to what I do. It doesn't make me feel safe at all either because I know what the people around me have done.
Along with all that, my room is still a HUGE mess. And I have carpet. Carpet stresses me out so much. I wish i could just get rid of it like a rug, but I can't, it's all there and I can't clean up the mess before a bigger one spawns.

Alright. I'm gonna go eat breakfest and watch some Wakfu. Sorry if that entry was kinda all over the place.
ANYWAYS. Thank you for reading, have a wonderful day (I'll try to have one too!), and stay safe :]

(might use this for lore concept later)Had a cool dream 'bout boosquitos! basically, they were four legged CHONKY bugs with stingers, if you got stung by one you'd lose all your emotions and would be in a numb state. Once you're in that state, a certain smell will emerge to summon more boosquitos, and they will slowly kill you and you won't care at all, but it won't really be painless. You just can't react ^^. In the dream a whole swarm of the built a nest near the kitchen and dining room, in a cabinet, I think. My uncle was the first one to find out. He immidiately shout "THERE'S BOOSQUITOS IN THE HOUSE!!" My dad quickly came into my room w/my brother to lemme know that we're doomed. Naturally, I shut the door and cried in my bed. I was later stung by a boosquito, and my death came soon after. ANYWAYS!! I think this was a brilliant thought in my big'ol brain, so Imma make a li'l story out of that dream.(obviously with different names tho, since my brain used Wakfu bugs for the big scary name ;-;)

I got a new sketchbook recently!! It has a slip-in cover so I can change it whenever I like. I also covered it in stickers 'cause why not! It only has potato and pride stickers rn tho... FOR NOW! MWAHAHHA!

below is one of em'